Yes, that's how it all started for me. I gave up on everything that made me happy, gave up on being strong, I let mean people get to me, I let them destroy my life. I had been bullied in school all of my life, but in senior year, I just couldn't deal with it anymore.
So I decided to just give up, to be lazy, to be sad, to just stay in bed all day and indulge, to stop doing everything that made me happy and put my focus somewhere else. I decided that for some reason, everyone who was trying to help me was actually throwing more dirt into the hole I felt like I was in, and in the end, they just made me feel more trapped and buried deeper, instead of helping. I stopped seeing my friends, the people who made me happy, and only focused on spending my time with people who were nothing but negative and sucked in all of the little bit of positivity that was left in me.
There are obviously different types of depression, and I'm no expert here, but if you're dealing with it, you definitely need to see a doctor. They'll probably put you on some pill kind of treatment, but here's the thing: those are NOT magic. In my case, I feel like they made me even worse, I feel like they even killed some of my neurons and made me drowsy and less clever. It took me years to figure it out, but I noticed eventually that I couldn't keep spiraling down and self-destructing, I had to grab hold of my own life and go back to what I used to be. And how did I do that? I started getting rid of the things (and people) that made me miserable, and I started doing more and more of the stuff that made me happy. I started picturing me in a happy scenario, and started pursuing the things involved in that scenario, and decided not to give up on my dreams. It takes time and effort, and some days you just don't feel like fighting for it anymore, but who doesn't have days like that? It's normal! We all have ups and downs, and there is way more people out there struggling with mental health than you can imagine. Unfortunately there seems to be something wrong with talking about it and being open, so they just decide to hide it because it's "embarrassing" and it might make them less cool. Well screw that, if you feel down, just take some time to be with yourself, to get to know you, what you like, what you hate, what you want and what you want to achieve in life. Maybe having depression wasn't that bad after all, because I learnt a few things about myself - I learnt that I want to go back to being the happy person that I used to be, and that I don't wanna put myself through that again. So if you need the time, take it, focus on what makes you happy and push away what doesn't. We all deserve to be happy and know ourselves, because, after all, we are meant to be with ourselves forever, until the very last day, so put yourself first!
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